In the first grade, our teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I remember I wanted to be a teacher. We made paper dolls showing what we wanted to be - I can still picture what mine looked like (she was wearing a pink shirt). I also remember multiple girls in my class wanting to be models. But I’m pretty sure one girl copied the other, so who knows!
I didn’t become a teacher; I also didn’t become a physical therapist, a pharmacist, or a UCONN basketball player. Instead, I ended up doing something that would not have been on my radar 21 years ago. Back then, to me, computers meant Oregon Trail.
Book Read: This Is How It Always Is
Author: Laurie Frankel
Number of Books Read, 2019 Edition: 46
At the age of five, when asked what he wants to be when he grows up, Claude knows he wants to be a girl. He’s certain of it. Claude wants to wear a dress to school, and doesn’t get why he can’t also wear a bikini.
At first, his family thinks it is just a phase. But, Claude is insistent that he is meant to be a girl. It’s something his parents, Rosie and Penn, don’t understand, but they want Claude to be whatever he wants. Encouraged by his father’s stories, Claude begins to wear dresses to kindergarten, and Rosie and Penn soon realize his classmates don’t seem to mind.
Following the family’s move to Seattle following a traumatic event in the local news, Claude becomes Poppy, and happily lives as she is meant to, as a girl. But following the move, the entire family is keeping Poppy’s secret, whether right or wrong.
After years of secrecy pass by, the held-tight secret explodes. Truths will be revealed, friendships will waver, and a sense of identity will be questioned. Poppy must decide if she wants to be true to herself, or be the Claude society expects of her.
I picked up this book at Strand Bookstore because it is on Reese’s Book Club list. She has yet to let me down, so I figured I’d give it a go. This book also has great reviews. When I picked it up to start reading, I had hopes. Then I read the first 80 pages or so. And I kept reading those 80 pages. Page 81 seemed so far away.
Then a turning point, finally! It seemed to happen after I had read a lot of the back story (how the parents met, all the kids, etc). Once Rosie and Penn begin to accept who Poppy is, the story picks up. The plot begins to move and keep you reading. Poppy’s story is captivating, but when you add the story lines of her family members and their views, it becomes something else.
Transgender topics would be a difficult thing to write about. In her author notes, Frankel notes that while this is similar to her daughter’s story, it is not based on facts; her daughter’s story serves are inspiration. Overall, Frankel writes of a family who embraces a change but is sworn to an unspoken secrecy. She includes points of views from Poppy’s four brothers, and their stories, to show how they handle the situation and provide more context.
Despite the slow start, This Is How It Always Is is a read that will break your heart, then mend it back together. It will keep you reading (after a certain point; see the comment above about page 80). You’ll want to be part of the solution, not the problem. With each page, you’ll be rooting for a five year old boy who wants to be Poppy when he grows up.
Next Read: The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez
